Life in modern urban society is fastening every year. To be in the course of events and not to “drop out” from the modern life we should be well-informed and quick enough to enjoy the possibilities of the world.
The drawback of such society is a necessity for adults to spend most of the time at work. On returning home people are dead tired to give enough attention to their children. Consequently, the latter become difficult or neglected.
Traditionally, We refer to “difficult children” those who are hard to cope with, who have problems with their behavior and studying. They are a pain for everybody – parents, teachers, schoolmates… They show off, they are naughty, restless, willful, erratic, undisciplined…Sometimes such children leave their homes, refuse to study, engage in hooliganism, steal, use alcohol and drugs. These children are sure to require special work and careful attitude but trying to cope with the most undisciplined members of our society we often fail to notice other great problems. This concerns quiet children who are not difficult to deal with; but we should consider the term “difficult children” not as “hard to cope with”, but “overcoming difficulties”. Difficult children of this type are obedient, disciplined, calm, conditioned. They are fearful of criticism, and almost fanatical in their desire to be conventional and correct. They accept what they have been taught almost without question.
The problem has deep roots; they are in the family environment. Many parents believe that children should listen, study, and obey to cause no trouble for their parents. One more argument against freedom for children is: life is hard and parents should train their children so that they will fit into it later on.
Difficult children are usually brought up in two types of family: either in authoritative or in broken one. Being submissive to an authority without the right to resist, a child chooses the line of least resistance and becomes passive. And if he was punished severely, he tries to escape the violence. The only available way for him is to become unnoticed. So, children are taught that their inner feelings represent no interest for the outer world and hide them deep inside so that nobody could see or touch them. Such children suffer from the lack of attention and affection silently, storing their negative emotions without outer signs. Sometimes they find the way out surfing the Internet and living in the world of fantasies. Sometimes they commit suicide when nobody expects them to.
Nothing can compensate for lack of parental affection. The happiness and well-being of children depend on a degree of love and approval parents give to them. Parents should be on the child’s side. Being on the side of the child is giving love to the child – not possessive one — but behaving to the child in such a way that the child feels love and approving of him. Home plays many parts in the life of the growing child; it is the natural source of affection, security, recreation. Besides, home affects the child’s status in society.
